Kissing my Sister

How to survive the NY Subway

You'll wish you could smoke on the subway, and wear tighty whitey flares

You’ll wish you could smoke on the subway, and wear tighty whitey flares

If you ever on a subway in New York here are some dos and don’t’s.

Don’t go for the empty carriage (you’re not being canny – the tramp asleep on one of the seats has either shit himself, pisseded himself, thrown up or something equally or possibly more horrendous smelling)

Do check if you are on an express or a local. It’s easy to end up 15 stops from you’re destination in about five minutes.

Do. Talk to strangers. Americans I find are open to conversation with strangers on the subway unlike the tube in London. Friendly would be the wrong word but chatty definitely.

Don’t dawdle. Someone will definitely shout at you (he also might have a gun, this is America).

Do. Give a dollar to a good busker (if he’s good).

Do check your route, know how many stops you are away and what the station is called (there are four 14th street stations so also know which one you mean).

Don’t expect there to be any clues as to which way you are going or which station you are at once you are on the train. God no! If you are lucky there might be an announcement you can understand or possibly a map you can get to to check. But don’t count on it.

The F train is a HELL HOLE.

Good luck, and pray for Mariah.

Who knows you might even meet Mariah!

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This entry was posted on September 24, 2015 by in New York, Streets.
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